4/02/2006

Frida and Andy

I was hanging out in my friends dorm room and she told me about this assignment she had to do comparing two different peices of art. I wrote this for her and said she should turn it in.

The Legend of Andy Warhol.

Frida Kahlo was a homely looking woman with a wicked unibrow that could stop even the strongest men dead in their tracks. The only man in the known universe with the power to stop Frida and her unibrow of terror was the fabled Andy Warhol. Andy had studied for years with the Tibetan monks in the holy temple of Hontalatoche. After years under the tutelage of the Man-who-has-no-name, Andy had perfected the art of the Art Deco, Frida’s only weakness. It’s multi colored attack made men’s heads explode. While Andy had been deep in meditation and study over the years Frida Kahlo was busy building an army of super brows. To the casual observer they appeared as simple self portraits of this diabolical mastermind, but each and every dastardly portrait was imbedded with the evil and hatred of the unibrow. Every portrait gave Frida more and more power over the little peoples of the world with the hypnotic powers that she was able to derive from them. Sensing an increase of darkness spreading across the world Andy immediately left his dojo on his glorious quest to stop the terrible Kahlo and rid the world of unibrows once and for all. Andy knew this would be no easy task and would constantly test what he was made of. Andy left a wake of splattered brains and grey matter belonging to the brainwashed cronies that made up Frida’s army of doom. The carnage that Andy had to go through would make large black men cry for their mommies. Collateral damage could not be helped as the casual observer would unwittingly gaze upon Andy’s Art Deco attack and immediately have his brain matter coat his surroundings. Andy regretted the unfortunate casualties but knew that they would be far less then the casualties resulting from tyrannical Frida rule, so he kept on, unleashing his mastered Art Deco technique on all who stood between him and the vicious Frida. Finally after months of bloodshed and despair Andy found himself face to unibrow with his ultimate enemy. Andy almost felt his wits escape him as he looked deep into the pit of despair that was that dreaded unibrow. Mustering every amount of courage and hope that he could he quickly fashioned the finest Art Deco attack that only years of highly disciplined practice could achieve. Frida let out a long low howl of anguish as her brains were turning to mashed potatoes inside her head. Andy could see the light at the end of this long blood drenched tunnel that he had been walking through for months. He could see the unibrow was struggling to retain its control over the scrambled mess inside Frida’s head. Seeing his opening Andy made a quick dash and unshealthed the holy razor that his master had entrusted with him before leaving on his epic journey. With one fluid movement of his wrist Andy sliced away the hair of evil on Frida’s forehead ridding the world of the devilish unibrow once and for all. Unfortunatly the damage done to Frida’s mind was irreversible so in an act of infinite mercy Andy beheaded his great foe preserving what honor Frida had obtained before falling to the dark side of the unibrow. Thus ends the tale of Frida and Andy.

1 comment:

whitney said...
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