1/16/2007
Semester molester
I've just begun my 6th semster in school, which, barring any further changes to my major marks the second half of what will be my college experience. So how was the first half you ask? Well I give it about a 6 outta 10. On the plus side I got out of a crappy small town, got away from the parentals, and just got out more than I did back in the day. I constantly feel that had I gone to a state school that certain aspects of my college experience would've been better ei. I would've gotten more ass. But thats the price I pay for my college choice. I'm not saying there haven't been golden opportunities that I've completely fucked up 5 ways to the weekend. I'm just saying that maybe with a bigger student body and a smaller percentage of wack jobs, those opportunities might have come along more often so that I wouldn't fuck them all up. But what can ya do. This second half of college has me pretty stoked though. opportunities are on the horizon and all JP Morgan has to do is seize the day. So I'm gunna get off this computer and start seizing.
12/12/2006
listen up you young whippersnapper
Last weekend marked the second annual holiday cocktail party that my roommates and I decide to put on every year and it was a killer party. Losta good things happend that night and it was full of holiday cheer. First of I got uber plastered much like many of the other guests. It wasn't till the next morning that I comprehended just how much I had drank. In the end it was the sweet delicious amaretto that did me in. Its just sooooo good. Anyways on to the good stuff. The first rediculous thing that happened that night was for some reason all my female friends decided to hang out in my room and watch all the porn that was on my computer. In the end they said that I needed some better porn.
The next rediculous thing was strait out of the book "rediculous crap that always happens to Jake." As the night went on I found myself chillin with one of my fine lady friends. An in quite an unjakelike turn of events we ended up in my room enjoying each others company. And just as the getting was good BOOM! people are knocking on my door and just comin in to get their coats. Game over Jake. Thats all she wrote, theres no way I could rebound from that. The funny thing is that there was this little voice in my head that was telling me the whole time to just hold up, throw the coats out in the hallway, and lock the door. Just a little "lock the door Jake, someone's gunna come in so lock that fucking door." But did I listen. no. and look where it got me. well life goes on and I learn from my mistakes.
Luckily that wasn't the most embarrassing thing that happened that night. at the same time i was getting rudely interrupted my roommate was trying to get with this other peach. I had introduced the two cuz my roommate has a thing for her and she was just looking for some lovin. So I threw my roommate a bone. hehehe. And he was doin a good job to right up to the moment that he projectile vomited on her arm. HAHAHAHA!!!! how does that happen? Anyways she came running out clearly grossed out of her mind. and proceeded to leave the party as fast as she could. Poor guy. I hope he can find an "I'm sorry I puked on you" card.
All in all a holiday party that will be remembered for a long time. I can just see myself as and old geezer sitting on my rocking chair and some young whippersnapper walks by and I'll be like "Did I ever tell you about the time my roommate threw up on the girl he liked and I learned to never use my room to store the coats?" and he'll say no and sit down cuz the tagline is so interesting and I'll regal him with my wonderful story. yay! good times good times.
The next rediculous thing was strait out of the book "rediculous crap that always happens to Jake." As the night went on I found myself chillin with one of my fine lady friends. An in quite an unjakelike turn of events we ended up in my room enjoying each others company. And just as the getting was good BOOM! people are knocking on my door and just comin in to get their coats. Game over Jake. Thats all she wrote, theres no way I could rebound from that. The funny thing is that there was this little voice in my head that was telling me the whole time to just hold up, throw the coats out in the hallway, and lock the door. Just a little "lock the door Jake, someone's gunna come in so lock that fucking door." But did I listen. no. and look where it got me. well life goes on and I learn from my mistakes.
Luckily that wasn't the most embarrassing thing that happened that night. at the same time i was getting rudely interrupted my roommate was trying to get with this other peach. I had introduced the two cuz my roommate has a thing for her and she was just looking for some lovin. So I threw my roommate a bone. hehehe. And he was doin a good job to right up to the moment that he projectile vomited on her arm. HAHAHAHA!!!! how does that happen? Anyways she came running out clearly grossed out of her mind. and proceeded to leave the party as fast as she could. Poor guy. I hope he can find an "I'm sorry I puked on you" card.
All in all a holiday party that will be remembered for a long time. I can just see myself as and old geezer sitting on my rocking chair and some young whippersnapper walks by and I'll be like "Did I ever tell you about the time my roommate threw up on the girl he liked and I learned to never use my room to store the coats?" and he'll say no and sit down cuz the tagline is so interesting and I'll regal him with my wonderful story. yay! good times good times.
12/03/2006
The End
So with the semester's end nigh upon me I've been looking back at those goals I made for myself at the beginning. And if I'm lucky I'll have done one of them. And it isn't the girlfriend one. Not for a lack of trying though. I think I'm in the wrong environment to find one though. Its like I'm hunting for polar bears in south africa. Lets do the math. I believe my school student body is like 60% female, now thats a good number. But lets add in all the factors that are working against me.
one: some of those chicks already have skeezy boyfriends. that reduces it to like 40%.
two: I go to an art school so a lot of the chicks are just incredibly fucking weird. like mohawk weird. so i'm at like 30% now
three: some of the chicks are just fucking ugos or bahemoths. 20%
four: I'm too picky for my own good. 10%
five: lesbians. 5%
so there you have it. 5%!!!! that's all i've got to work with here. and a good portion of that five percent are just newly single or newly on the market so i get shafted by the whole "they've been hurt before and don't wanna rush anything". fuck me. also you chicks out there are fucking nuts and don't know a good thing when I walk by. thats a fact. deal with it. sex me up.
one: some of those chicks already have skeezy boyfriends. that reduces it to like 40%.
two: I go to an art school so a lot of the chicks are just incredibly fucking weird. like mohawk weird. so i'm at like 30% now
three: some of the chicks are just fucking ugos or bahemoths. 20%
four: I'm too picky for my own good. 10%
five: lesbians. 5%
so there you have it. 5%!!!! that's all i've got to work with here. and a good portion of that five percent are just newly single or newly on the market so i get shafted by the whole "they've been hurt before and don't wanna rush anything". fuck me. also you chicks out there are fucking nuts and don't know a good thing when I walk by. thats a fact. deal with it. sex me up.
11/19/2006
Disenchanted
Following a weekend of heavy heavy drinking I'm feeling very disenchanted towards the world right now. I don't know if thats because my liver's 2 pounds heavier or just cuz I seem to be hitting a down slope on the Jake Roller Coaster of Doom . I think I'm gunna hermit it up so I don't have to deal with all the people that just seem to be pissing me off. The good thing about being a hermit is that its all about Jake. I don't give a shit what other people think or want me to do. But the downside is it doesn't really solve any problems, just sorta makes me out to be an outcast. But I think lately I've been going to far outta my way for other people. Not anymore Hans Brix.
11/07/2006
a blog about my blog
So I started this thing a while back now I guess. At first I just wanted it to be a way that I could turn my boring mundane life into something that I could read back on and bust a gut about. A healthy way to remember yourself if I do say so myself.
I just had a random thought. Who the fuck decided that the word "blog" was a good label to put on an internet journal of sorts. What does that even mean. fucking blog. Reminds me of the first sound that comes out when you vomit. Not the dry heave but when theres some actual chunkness coming up. Yeah I know! that's totally what you say. "BLOOOOOGGGG" gross.
Back to my original thought. I feel this is good therapy for me. Its cheap and so that means its good for me. Cuz if I wasn't able to try and look back and find humor in some of god's not so kind acts towards me. I'd be a sad lonely piece of filth right abouts now. Well maybe not, but I wouldn't have documented proof of my brilliant 5 stages analogy. That one's going on my resume. Hans brix
I just had a random thought. Who the fuck decided that the word "blog" was a good label to put on an internet journal of sorts. What does that even mean. fucking blog. Reminds me of the first sound that comes out when you vomit. Not the dry heave but when theres some actual chunkness coming up. Yeah I know! that's totally what you say. "BLOOOOOGGGG" gross.
Back to my original thought. I feel this is good therapy for me. Its cheap and so that means its good for me. Cuz if I wasn't able to try and look back and find humor in some of god's not so kind acts towards me. I'd be a sad lonely piece of filth right abouts now. Well maybe not, but I wouldn't have documented proof of my brilliant 5 stages analogy. That one's going on my resume. Hans brix
10/25/2006
Not in Season
I don't understand a lot of things in this world. But right now I mostly don't understand my keen sense of becoming interesting in chicks who's last thought in the world is on a relationship or even the possibilities of a relationship. Cuz right now Jake's swingin' away with a .000 batting average. I'm very tired right now so I think I'll extend this metaphor. I see these perfect pitches coming my way and I'm thinkin to myself "There's no way in hell i'm gunna miss this one" but then that fucking changeup comes and what was once a juicy looking fast ball heading right for the sweet spot of my proverbial bat has turned into a slider moving high and outside. So over and over again its a swing and a miss. Thank god I've made it to stage 5.
10/01/2006
5 stages
so after being single for a long long time, I've looked back on the plethora of time I've had to myself and notice that dealing with being single is a lot like dealing with death and that there are 5 stages people go through.
Stage 1: Denial
The very beginning of singledom, everyone knows that you and your significant other are finished except you. The obvious signs are there and you choose to ignore them "We're just going through a rough patch and needed some time apart" you rationalize to yourself. The words finished, single, over, and move on aren't in your vocabulary, you still call and leave like 20 minute long messages describing your day.
Stage 2: Anger
Possibly the most destructive of your 5 stages, anger can manifest itself in many ways. Most common is destruction and vandalism of the dumper's property by the dumpee. Flaming dog feces on the aformentioned's porch, laying cable on the hood of someone's car, both examples that you are in stage 2. Nights out with the guys/girls are probably riddled with phrases like "that scag-bag took the best 2 months of my life" or "I hope she/he gets the clap and dies." Its necessary that you express your anger as its a sign of progressing through the 5 stages but its best if it is expressed in a healthy and legal manner
Stage 3: Bargaining
In this stage you're in your most desperate condition. You'll give anything just to be in a relationship again. And I mean anything, your standards are just this side of creepy and your willing to put up with a lot of crap just to get your rocks off. You think every girl that gives you a momentary glance is totally into what your selling and your willing to give up anything, everything, and a little on the side to not be single again. Good friends are your best ally in this stage as they will stopping you from bargaining yourself into a relationship with a beast that likes to give people third degree burns for foreplay.
Stage 4: Depression
Ok you've been single for a long time now. You made it without being arrested in the second stage and didn't get hepatitis from a transvestite that you thought was just a tomboyish girl with an acceptable amount of facial hair. But now your depressed and what do you do when your depressed? You drink...a lot. Depending on how long you've taken to go through the first three stages your depression could be a lengthy journey or could be as long as it took you to pack that bowl. You might cry and use your tears as lubrication while you masturbate yourself into a coma. I don't judge. We all deal with depression in our own way.
Stage 5: Acceptance
You made it, You've been single for so long that you no longer care. Single, not single, these states of being mean nothing to you. You don't care if your still single tomorrow or next year. Now you run the show. Your not going to settle like the old you back in stage 3. If your gunna get in it for the long haul with someone it'll be on your terms. Congratulations, you're your own man or woman again.
There they are, your five stages. I'd like to thank all those women that turned me down, without you I would never have looked back and made these wonderful observations.
Stage 1: Denial
The very beginning of singledom, everyone knows that you and your significant other are finished except you. The obvious signs are there and you choose to ignore them "We're just going through a rough patch and needed some time apart" you rationalize to yourself. The words finished, single, over, and move on aren't in your vocabulary, you still call and leave like 20 minute long messages describing your day.
Stage 2: Anger
Possibly the most destructive of your 5 stages, anger can manifest itself in many ways. Most common is destruction and vandalism of the dumper's property by the dumpee. Flaming dog feces on the aformentioned's porch, laying cable on the hood of someone's car, both examples that you are in stage 2. Nights out with the guys/girls are probably riddled with phrases like "that scag-bag took the best 2 months of my life" or "I hope she/he gets the clap and dies." Its necessary that you express your anger as its a sign of progressing through the 5 stages but its best if it is expressed in a healthy and legal manner
Stage 3: Bargaining
In this stage you're in your most desperate condition. You'll give anything just to be in a relationship again. And I mean anything, your standards are just this side of creepy and your willing to put up with a lot of crap just to get your rocks off. You think every girl that gives you a momentary glance is totally into what your selling and your willing to give up anything, everything, and a little on the side to not be single again. Good friends are your best ally in this stage as they will stopping you from bargaining yourself into a relationship with a beast that likes to give people third degree burns for foreplay.
Stage 4: Depression
Ok you've been single for a long time now. You made it without being arrested in the second stage and didn't get hepatitis from a transvestite that you thought was just a tomboyish girl with an acceptable amount of facial hair. But now your depressed and what do you do when your depressed? You drink...a lot. Depending on how long you've taken to go through the first three stages your depression could be a lengthy journey or could be as long as it took you to pack that bowl. You might cry and use your tears as lubrication while you masturbate yourself into a coma. I don't judge. We all deal with depression in our own way.
Stage 5: Acceptance
You made it, You've been single for so long that you no longer care. Single, not single, these states of being mean nothing to you. You don't care if your still single tomorrow or next year. Now you run the show. Your not going to settle like the old you back in stage 3. If your gunna get in it for the long haul with someone it'll be on your terms. Congratulations, you're your own man or woman again.
There they are, your five stages. I'd like to thank all those women that turned me down, without you I would never have looked back and made these wonderful observations.
9/20/2006
boredom is the catalyst of creation
so I've been sitting around these past couple of nights with nothing to do since my homework is realitively light, well at least its lighter than what it was in architecture, (ID is a peach) anyways I've been fidling around in 3d Max and made this creation
Just a little bike that I'll be using in the first animated adventure of Samuri Smiley.
Yesterday I was a total retard and missed my design class because I slept in. It was so stupid cuz I had totally done all the work and more and was excited to present and everything, but no, my lazy ass has to sleep in till 11:30 after deciding at 8:00 that "another 30 minutes will be ok" so now I've got to find my professors email and send a letter of apology. Fuck my ass I don't want to be doing stupid things like this again this semester.
still working on one or all of those goals from earlier...
Just a little bike that I'll be using in the first animated adventure of Samuri Smiley.
Yesterday I was a total retard and missed my design class because I slept in. It was so stupid cuz I had totally done all the work and more and was excited to present and everything, but no, my lazy ass has to sleep in till 11:30 after deciding at 8:00 that "another 30 minutes will be ok" so now I've got to find my professors email and send a letter of apology. Fuck my ass I don't want to be doing stupid things like this again this semester.
still working on one or all of those goals from earlier...
9/13/2006
reinventing reinvention
Often times I take a step back from myself and try to decide if I like where I'm going. If I don't like it I say I'm going to reinvent myself and become something I like. Up until now its been met with about a week of reinvention followed by a gradual return to the old me. So I guess that means I've got to reinvent the ways I've been reinventing myself. What does that mean you ask? It means I've been going about it all wrong. I used to give myself a reward system but then would always reward myself without doing anything because I rock and thats reason enough to reward myself. So that doesn't work.
Right now I'm in the middle of reinventing reinventing myself. I'm going to classes, doing the homework on time, and still setting aside time for me to just sit back and enjoy being me. I'm getting back to my roots of punk/alternative rock, and also I'm painting again which I always love.
So why am I still here feeling like somethings missing?
Right now I'm in the middle of reinventing reinventing myself. I'm going to classes, doing the homework on time, and still setting aside time for me to just sit back and enjoy being me. I'm getting back to my roots of punk/alternative rock, and also I'm painting again which I always love.
So why am I still here feeling like somethings missing?
9/02/2006
first weeks
today marks the end of the first week of my third year in college. It wasn't a whole weeks cuz I was away for my sisters wedding which was bitchin'. Anywho, It went as good as any of my first weeks of school have gone I guess. After 4 long months I've been able to hang out with one of my best friends and that makes me happy. But for some reason I find myself just wanting to wallow by myself here in my hermit hole. hopefully this feeling goes away, I think its just a product of me being single for way way way too long. That means its time to lower my standards, like so low they're just this side of unbearable. Also I'm spending too much money. Saving is not a talent that I have mastered yet and its about time I start. Too bad I've got a ton of bills to pay and things that I NEED to buy in order to survive. But what can you do.
Goals for this semester
- less than 3 absences in my classes
- good grades so I bring my gpa back up
- wake up and be on time for all my morning classes
- find a girlfriend
-cure cancer
Goals for this semester
- less than 3 absences in my classes
- good grades so I bring my gpa back up
- wake up and be on time for all my morning classes
- find a girlfriend
-cure cancer
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